of being broke…first, I was broke because my focus was on the Demon and I was a bit unfocused because of the move. Now, I am broke because I am working my tail off to try and pay off all the Demon bills by the end of November. Isn’t it an odd life when you are earning money but have none? It is…just what it is.

For a lot of people, the approach of the holiday season is not a joyful occasion, it is just one big bill. But you know…I was thinking back to last year at Christmas when things first started getting tight with people and there was a move (from necessity and from fear) away from the grandiose holiday splash and to the simple gathering of families and friends. Adults did not give presents and children got a select few, and all showed up at work the next week absolutely stunned at how much more they enjoyed the celebration.

Now, we have all suffered this past year and things are getting better – slightly, but for some reason, the urge to splurge has crept back in. A large part of it is we have been told it is our civic duty to spend, to feed the economy, to prove the recession is over. But the reality for many is things are only better if you squint your eyes, hold your breath and pretend you are someone else.

If you remember last year…oh! the stories I heard about the traditional Christmas fights and arguments that went missing. There is no need to pick up all that again. And while we all want ease and a touch of luxury, this may not be the time to make that the focus. Even if things have gotten better for you, give yourself a break for yet another season.

‘nuff said.

I read “Monster” yesterday on Re-verse. I was sitting in a car with a spastic dog on my lap (a Maltese Chihuahua named “Rocko – the Dish”) with a friend who has never heard me do my thing live before. The Dish was oblivious, but when I got done there was this dead silence on the radio and my friend was just looking at me. She looked at me and said, “It sounds like you are actually there, feeling those things.”

But that is the nature of reading something aloud. It doesn’t matter what it is or what it is about, you become the voice for the piece. You are the grocery list, you are the Monster, you are the public service announcement because while you are speaking you must communicate the reality of the words…not just recite them. But, it is not you doing it, who you are gets left at the door, so to speak.

I am gearing up to start teaching a class next week, basically on how to make the process of writing a part of your life. I am starting to look more and more towards it, going over the class notes and expanding and deepening them to include what I have been learning of late.

And I am sitting here, way too early in the morning, looking at a pile of work I have chosen to take on that will allow me – three weeks from now, to drive a truck out of the driveway with all my other bills paid or well on their way to being paid.

The carrot at the end of the stick.
The light at the end of the tunnel.

Money is such a funny thing.

In some ways it is a little bit like breathing. You have to be able to do it without thining, if you think about it too much then the breathing becomes difficult.

Ah well.

The Mad Kitten was none to pleased that the Dish came for a visit. She hid in her room, the Dish ate one of her toys, then ate through his leash, then spun around and ignored the same toy she ignores and passed out. But as soon as the Dish was gone she came down and it was life as usual. This week we are going to be starting the adjustment to her spending much more time indoors because of the cold, which means I have to get back in the habit of playing with her.

And….and…at some point I have to do something with my website, I have been cheating for months and just slapping stuff on the landing page rather then putting stuff on the schedule et al. A clean-up all around is needed…isn’t that what November is for?

work work work

Buy The Demon of Providence on Amazon.com Video Release: October 2009 copyright 2000-2009 Cassandra Tribe. All rights reserved. For permission to use any of this material please contact info@loveandwords.com cassandra tribe is a member of newsy.com

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